Mommy Mindset: Does Mommyhood Make You Kinder?

I put my hand up as a mother who sometimes walks away from my son if he is having a grump, knowing that often that is the best way to let it blow over. I try to instill good manners and behaviour, but I am not going to have an all out war with him in the middle of the street wither. With kids, you have to pick your battles. And tantrums, they happen to the best of us. I’m also very aware of others around us, and will remove him from the situation if I feel his bad behavior is bothering others. Strangers shouldn’t have to suffer cause of my boy…easier said then done though sometimes :)

How have your perceptions of others changed since becoming a mother? Are you less judgmental of other mothers and their children’s dirty faces or temper tantrums in a store?

Cyndy: I am COMPLETELY less judgmental and much more understanding. It is a whole lot harder to judge others once you are literally walking a mile in their shoes. I have felt the looks of others on the rare occasions my daughter has had a meltdown in a store or refuses to listen and I don’t feel the need to inflict those looks on another mother. Often if I find myself at the grocery store alone and there is a mother with children behind me in line, I will let them go in front of me – especially if it seems like their child is about to run out of good behavior. We have all been there!

Emily: I find myself more tolerant of how strangers interact with their children than I am with how my friends and family members interact with theirs. That is likely because we tend to think that people who are “like us” will behave “like us” and strangers will be…well, strange!

Gena: I am less judgmental of other parents, for sure. I try to give a smile or an understanding word to a parent with a child having a temper tantrum in the store. However, I think I’ve become less tolerant of parents who belittle and curse at their kids in public. Parenting is hard, but there’s no need for that. It makes me sad because those kids are just like my own.

Darcy: I’m definitely less judgmental now. So many of my views have changed. Now if they are ignoring inappropriate behavior and just letting them run amuck in the store I don’t think that’s too cool, but when you see that familiar look on their eyes (tired, overwhelmed, stressed, and embarrassed) as they try to restore peace.

Lena: Totally. I had no understanding of things I have now. I went from “What is his mother thinking? The child is s-c-r-e-a-m-i-n-g” to “Yep. This is my child. Stop staring at me. She is just throwing a tantrum. What do you expect from 2 year old?..”

Ghada: I always cringe and hope I wasn’t judgmental in my singledom days – especially when I see a mother who looks like she is trying her hardest but her kiddlet just won’t cooperate. Like Gena said, I try to give a sympathetic smile to a mother who looks like she is just about at breaking point. We’ve all been there and I hope that little smile will keep her from cracking.

Thank You for your valuable input Cyndy of Mama Does It All, Emily of Nap Time is My Time, Gena of Life With Captain, Darcy of Tales From the Nursery, and  Lena of Way2Goodlife, and Ghada of Mama goes BAM.

As a parent, are you more understanding now of others ‘troublesome’ kids?

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5 Responses to Mommy Mindset: Does Mommyhood Make You Kinder?
  1. Rachel R.
    May 18, 2012 | 11:58 am

    I don’t have kids yet, but I try to be tolerant if the kid is having a meltdown and the parents are trying their best. I think my perception depends a lot on how the parent handles it and what the situation is – a normal 2 year old temper tantrum is one thing, letting your kids run wild in public is a different story.
    Rachel R. recently posted..Fitness Goals Recap: Training for a Half Marathon!My Profile

  2. Kristin Wheeler (MamaLuvsBooks)
    May 18, 2012 | 1:13 pm

    LOVE these responses. I would say it does and it doesn’t. I am more compassionate now when I see kids that are acting out with their mothers, but I also lose my patience more than I ever did before kids.
    Kristin Wheeler (MamaLuvsBooks) recently posted..Dear Mama…… Questions for the Week of 5/13My Profile

  3. Kristen @ My 3 Little Kittens
    Twitter: my3lilkittens
    May 18, 2012 | 1:15 pm

    Motherhood has without a doubt made me more tolerant and helped me work on my patience. It really reminds you what is important and allows you to relate to other Moms and how hard it really can be sometimes. I find it easier to relate to Moms that share my parenting style.
    Kristen @ My 3 Little Kittens recently posted..Remembering Kayden ~ Losing a Beloved PetMy Profile

  4. Dede
    Twitter: savinginseconds
    May 18, 2012 | 5:34 pm

    I’m a teacher and I definitely think that being a mom helps me to be more patient and kind to the children I work with. I try to remember to treat them the way I would want someone to treat my child.
    Dede recently posted..Friday Freebie: Lots of new and repeat freebies for your Nook!My Profile

  5. […] fault for not disciplining properly. What? Uuugh. We touched on this topic just this week in the Mommy Mindset about whether or not people without kids sometimes just don’t understand that a meltdown […]

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KiwiCanadian expat adventures with my husband and 2 kids from life in New Zealand to New York and back again. Adventures in inspired family living, travel, health & fitness.Read More »