Mommy Mindset: Competition Amongst Mamas

Competition among moms. Why do you think it exists? Are you a competitive mom?

Lena: I am much more ambitious in work environment, than I am in a mommy army, but mainly because I know that mama drama and competitions are such a energy sucking hobby. I almost enjoy telling one of my friends that I got something new, because I know within the next couple weeks she will get something better. Is that bad?

Ashley: Not so much competitive as I like to see where my son is in comparison to other children his age. None of my friends have kids, so I admit, I’m an amateur when it comes to parenting. I’m always asking where other kids are in development in comparison to him. It helps me know what I should work on more or what he is doing great in. I do think competition exists though, which is a shame. I notice it a lot in my “mom groups”.

Emily: I’ve noticed it a lot in my area. I find that moms are judging the “gear” that other moms have, the clothing the children wear, what kind of food the kids are eating, etc. Personally, I put my money towards things that are important to me & inline with my values. Having said that, I have a hybrid stroller and feed The Boy organic foods. But, I dress him for the playground in clothes from Target and Old Navy. I don’t understand why there is so much judging, perhaps it stems from the judging that we all did as teens in high school?

Ghada: I don’t get that kind of competition that you’ve described Emily. Maybe it comes from boredom. I find the mothers that are the most competitive about the gear and clothes are the ones that have always been that way in their own lives – the best clothes, the best phones, the best makeup, etc…Of course, I can’t help but notice where my kids fit in compared to others in their growth, BUT I never turn it into a competition. Plus, I think with number 2 I am less concerned about where my kids fit in. They are happy, healthy and growing just fine!

Mary: I’m with Ghada – I am at a place where I may not seek as much approval from other moms as I did with my first but that is not say that I truly did in the first place. When my first was born, I was pregnant with five other woman in my office and out of them, one lost her baby, one became a great friend and one constantly wanted to compare our baby’s growth and development. She would often try to bait me into comparing and sometimes I feel for it. It got to the point where I would not even mention my son when she was around. Eventually she finally stopped but the I joined the early childhood PTA and was thrust back into it. We should support each other, not tear each other down. :(

What’s your experience with competitive moms?

Thanks for participating Lena of Way2Goodlife, Ashley of Maryland Momma’s Rambles & Reviews, Emily of Nap Time is My Time, Ghada of Mama goes BAM, and Mary of I Need a Playdate.



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KiwiCanadian expat adventures with my husband and 2 kids from life in New Zealand to New York and back again. Adventures in inspired family living, travel, health & fitness.Read More »