Welcome to Day 6 of 12 Days of Valentine’s Love Yourself! Today we’re talking about feeding your soul. For me, I think this is the hardest thing to do because it requires taking the time out to stop and really think about what you need to enrich your soul. The same way I have to stop and think through what I need to feed my family with food for the week, I need to stop and think about what I need to feed my soul. When my heart isn’t singing and I’m not laughing everyday, I know that I am NOT feeding my soul.
Up until today, most of what I have described in the 12 Days of Valentine’s has been prescriptive, meaning I have been bossy and told you exactly what to do. Today is different. How you feed your soul will be different for everyone – you have to stop and think about it this way: If you were to exist all alone, what would you need to do to feel fulfilled every day? As I mentioned above, I need to be laughing and buzzing with happiness everyday. At the moment, I get that by connecting with others online (I know, I know, I’m working on the “in real life” friends too!) and reading blogs that make me laugh and books that teach me something new. I minimize television viewing and don’t really even watch the news these days – those 2 activities are soul sucking rather than soul nourishing. The rise in Reality TV has served to lower the quality of TV even more in recent years. I still keep up with what is going on in the world, but I am able to filter out the sensational spin that is put on the evening news by reading my news online.
Day 5 of the 12 Days of Valentine’s – Love Yourself! is all about music. I remember feeling isolated with my first born. I think I was used to being at home for 2 days at a time without going anywhere. Before that, I worked for myself and was always on the go. If I wasn’t at the office, I was doing yoga, or running down by the beach. Suddenly with the birth of Monkey #1, I was spending days alone at home. Sure my husband was coming home from work every evening, but never had I spent entire days by myself. The silence was deafening. It takes a bit of getting used to, talking to this small human that doesn’t respond, that doesn’t even smile for the first 6 weeks at least. My boy was 4 weeks early, so he pretty much slept the first 4 weeks of his life – as if he was still in the womb. I stared into his eyes when he was awake, talked baby talk and waited for any kind of response. I didn’t have nearly the social life that some of my friends did before children (thanks to being self-employed) but still I used to come and go as I wanted and this new way of being, without any feedback sometimes made the days long.
That is how I discovered music and specifically dancing to music as a way to pass the time, connect with my baby and produce feel good hormones. To this date, Monkey #1 is still very musical and we still dance together. Researchers have said that playing music for young babies stimulates the brain. So you see, music is a double whammy, heightening your feel good hormones and nurtures your baby. Music is a building block to baby’s speech development.
And don’t be afraid to play whatever you normally play – music is music, a melody is a melody. Some people swear that you have to play the classics like Mozart. I say, as long as you and baby are moving and the music is not too loud for baby’s ears, then you are onto something good. Of course their is a theory that beyond stimulating the brain, the tempo of Mozart creates emotion as well.
Welcome to day 3 of the 12 Days of Valentine’s – Love Yourself! Move it so you don’t lose it, get out and get some fresh air with your wee. I’ve found with my girl that not only is a walk a great way to wake me up and clear my head, but it also seems to wear her out to the point where she has a deeper nap. Anyone else find that your baby sleeps better after getting a bit of fresh air?
When she really wasn’t sleeping, I got creative in the middle of the night so that I’d stop being so frustrated about her not sleeping. While I was rocking and shushing her I started doing squats and lunges using her as a bit of added weight. Crazy thing is she loved the movement. Now as she is more alert and calmer for longer during the day I am starting to do more exercise with her. There is alot out there that you can do with your child, you can try something like Fit Moms for Life or even looking for “mother baby exercise” on You Tube.
Friday was the annual kick off of the campaign to remind women that heart disease is our #1 killer. Yes, heart disease is the number one killer of women. So take your exercise seriously. You’re just starting out your family, so make sure to be around for them.
Welcome to day 2 of the 12 Days of Valentine’s – Love Yourself! Today’s challenge is about being present and enjoying every small win at a time when so much in life is upside down. Your sleep, social life and professional life have all been interrupted. But its fairly safe to assume that you, like me, would not trade your little monkeys for the world.
With this baby, I’ve found that well-meaning people are always asking “Does she sleep through the night yet?” Which then makes me constantly wonder “when will she sleep through the nigh?”. I’ve had to stop the wondering in my brain and just focus on the here and now, focus on being present. It will happen when it happens. Their are little things I can do, like cluster feed to space out her evening feeds, but truly there is no sense losing sleep (pun intended) on what my baby is ultimately leading. Instead I am celebrating small wins – when she sleep in the daytime for 3 hours, when she sleep from 8 til 1am in the evening.
I’m also trying to to remember to give myself a pat on the back when I manage to make a nice meal from scratch, have a shower before lunchtime or burp her effortlessly (no one tells you burping isn’t always simple!). So think about the little things you are achieving as a mother today, that yesterday you didn’t even think were possible. Think about the little things your baby does that they didn’t do yesterday. Chances are she is smiling and cooing because of you, because you are her world and you’ve taught her that.
How can you live in the present and celebrate small wins?
Welcome to day 1 of the 12 Days of Valentine’s – Love Yourself! I’m really excited about implementing each of the challenges I am going to talk about over the next 12 days into my own life. They are all small actionable steps that when added together will bring about change. Just writing the different posts in this series have made me realize what I need to do to feel more focused and specifically how to get more out of each day for myself. As a mother, my tendency is to make sure every one else is thriving while putting my needs second. Problem is I never get around to my needs.
Like many themes having to do with newborns, there are as many people who have a staunch belief one way or another as their are people who are completely unsure what they think is right. Read what a few of my blog friends had to say on the subject.
Mariah: There are many books and many articles on the internet that give advice about where your child should sleep. Each one seems to have its own collection of reasons to back up their argument. When I was pregnant, I read everything I could but the past 13 months have proven that I just go with my gut and what works for us. That means that W sleeps with us in our bed at least part of almost every night. He has had a few nights where he did the whole night in his crib in our room but usually he ends up in our bed. We’ve never rolled over onto him or anything like that. I have had the delight of waking up in a big wet spot and getting kicked through the night. Despite all of that, it works for us. It’s just what developed when I was struggling to breastfeed and also having new mommy worries. I just W close to me and I still do! Where does your child sleep and how did the arrangement come to be?
Gena: My one year old sleeps in his crib all of the time and believe me, I WISH he would sleep with us sometimes! It would really help to be able to pull him into bed. But that was a bad habit that we developed with #1 and I’ve said sleeping with him is like sleeping with a rabid octopus. He is NEVER still! He is three and does come to our bed (after starting out in his bed and then coming to his couch on our floor) a few days a week. It’s so sweet to see him sleeping there, but I can rarely sleep when he’s beside me because he’s so active in his sleep. I really do admire co-sleepers, though and they do get a lot of flack. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get some sleep!
Do you pull W into bed because he won’t go back to sleep in his crib?
