Happy Mother’s Day! I hope that if even for just a few minutes today you get the chance to celebrate you! I don’t know what is in store for my Mother’s Day except that I will happily be spending it with m 2 precious kids and Mr BAM. I try not to live a life full of regrets, but when it comes to my kids, sometimes I can’t help but think about how I could have done things or should’ve done things differently. Hey, it’s one thing to mess up your own path in life, but altogether another thing when you have your children’s future in the palm of your hands. Oh mother guilt! Some days I think I could write a book on it…or at least a few chapters.
But look at them, they look pretty happy don’t they?
After a particularly long and stressful week, with babysitter/nanny issues, deadlines at work, Little Miss recovering from a cold and passing it on to me, and Mr BAM traveling for work, I started to ask myself if anything I was doing in life was actually getting accomplished at a level satisfactory enough to the high bar I set for myself. It’s good to examine your life every once and awhile, make sure that things that are taking over your life are actually making you happy. But just yesterday, I also realized that it is good to cut myself some slack.
But in an effort to bear it all, and show that I too am just a mom trying to do it all (whatever that elusive ‘all’ is), it’s not always easy and I wish I had the magic formula that made sure at any given time I was equally loving and being loved while feeling happy, healthy and fulfilled.
That being said, here are just 3 things that I work steadily on improving on for my children. Maybe it’s to relieve a little of my own guilt. But truly I’m hoping that it’s a step closer in adding on a building block to helping my kids grow into the well rounded people in society I know they will be. You might laugh at these 3 things I wish I’d done differently as a mom – they are not earth shattering. Who knows, maybe I’m neurotic! Maybe as moms, we can’t help but be programmed with a healthy dose of mommy guilt and a side order of neuroticism
- Dedicated language immersion from an earlier age: My children are so blessed to have such a rich heritage. My parents were both born and raised in Barbados and came to live in Montreal, Quebec, Canada as young adults (they arrived separately and then met in Montreal, cool eh?). I grew up speaking both English and French – immersed in French at school and brought up in an English environment at home. I didn’t appreciate knowing 2 languages growing up, but it has served me well in my travels ( to France and Polynesian islands) as well as in learning Spanish. I find it difficult to consistently and religiously immerse my kids in my official second language, but I am working on it all the time!
- I wish I’d never introduced my son to the “best” babysitter on earth: Mr P doesn’t watch an enormous amount of TV for his age, but when he does I wish it wasn’t so hard to tear him away. When he was about 3 and started dropping naps, I remember how easy it was to plop him in front of the TV to enjoy a quick 20 minute adventure with Dora and Boots while I got a few last minute house chores done. Then as he got older, whoa how amazing was it when he could actually sit and enjoy a full length animated flick – Disney’s Toy Story being his first love. When he’s not running himself ragged outside, he loves to draw and color, and even read books – but sometimes I wish he wanted to watch just a little less TV. Little Miss on the other hand has not developed such an affinity for TV…she has big brother to entertain her.
- I wish I’d religiously written down every first: From first tooth to, to first smile. The moments are in my minds eye, but though I never thought they’d fade, they are. I remind myself that living in the present is the most important thing I can do. Making the most of what we have and providing for the future is much more important. But even as I stare at Little Miss and realize she is a toddler and technically no longer a baby, I wonder where the time has gone