3 Things I wish I’d Done Differently as a Mom

Happy Mother’s Day! I hope that if even for just a few minutes today you get the chance to celebrate you! I don’t know what is in store for my Mother’s Day except that I will happily be spending it with m 2 precious kids and Mr BAM. I try not to live a life full of regrets, but when it comes to my kids, sometimes I can’t help but think about how I could have done things or should’ve done things differently. Hey, it’s one thing to mess up your own path in life, but altogether another thing when you have your children’s future in the palm of your hands. Oh mother guilt! Some days I think I could write a book on it…or at least a few chapters.
But look at them, they look pretty happy don’t they?
After a particularly long and stressful week, with babysitter/nanny issues, deadlines at work, Little Miss recovering from a cold and passing it on to me, and Mr BAM traveling for work, I started to ask  myself if anything I was doing in life was actually getting accomplished at a level satisfactory enough to the high bar I set for myself. It’s good to examine your life every once and awhile, make sure that things that are taking over your life are actually making you happy. But just yesterday, I also realized that it is good to cut myself some slack.
But in an effort to bear it all, and show that I too am just a mom trying to do it all (whatever that elusive ‘all’ is), it’s not always easy and I wish I had the magic formula that made sure at any given time I was equally loving and being loved while feeling happy, healthy and fulfilled.
That being said, here are just 3 things that I work steadily on improving on for my children. Maybe it’s to relieve a little of my own guilt. But truly I’m hoping that it’s a step closer in adding on a building block to helping my kids grow into the well rounded people in society I know they will be. You might laugh at these 3 things I wish I’d done differently as a mom – they are not earth shattering. Who knows, maybe I’m neurotic! Maybe as moms, we can’t help but be programmed with a healthy dose of mommy guilt and a side order of neuroticism :)
  1. Dedicated language immersion from an earlier age: My children are so blessed to have such a rich heritage. My parents were both born and raised in Barbados and came to live in Montreal, Quebec, Canada as young adults (they arrived separately and then met in Montreal, cool eh?). I grew up speaking both English and French – immersed in French at school and brought up in an English environment at home. I didn’t appreciate knowing 2 languages growing up, but it has served me well in my travels ( to France and Polynesian islands) as well as in learning Spanish. I find it difficult to consistently and religiously immerse my kids in my official second language, but I am working on it all the time!
  2. I wish I’d never introduced my son to the “best” babysitter on earth:  Mr P doesn’t watch an enormous amount of TV for his age, but when he does I wish it wasn’t so hard to tear him away. When he was about 3 and started dropping naps, I remember how easy it was to plop him in front of the TV to enjoy a quick 20 minute adventure with Dora and Boots while I got a few last minute house chores done. Then as he got older, whoa how amazing was it when he could actually sit and enjoy a full length animated flick – Disney’s Toy Story being his first love. When he’s not running himself ragged outside, he loves to draw and color, and even read books – but sometimes I wish he wanted to watch just a little less TV. Little Miss on the other hand has not developed such an affinity for TV…she has big brother to entertain her.
  3. I wish I’d religiously written down every firstFrom first tooth to, to first smile. The moments are in my minds eye, but though I never thought they’d fade, they are. I remind myself that living in the present is the most important thing I can do. Making the most of what we have and providing for the future is much more important.  But even as I stare at Little Miss and realize she is a toddler and technically no longer a baby, I wonder where the time has gone

What is the biggest thing you wish you’d done differently as a mom?



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9 Responses to 3 Things I wish I’d Done Differently as a Mom
  1. Olivia Rubin
    May 11, 2013 | 3:40 pm

    So I don’t have any children yet. I do have a Service Dog that I am the mother too. And those that know and understand the bond & relationship one can have with a pet, let alone a Service Dog, know of motherhood too. I know of things I won’t expose my SD to. She will not remain in hostile environments. When she hears yelling she barks and we leave. I will not leave her alone with “trusted professionals” . I will not repeat what i endured. I know this isn’t exactly what I would change, as in your question…hmmm maybe go to the beach more.

    • Ghada V
      May 11, 2013 | 8:06 pm

      I use to work for the Royal New Zealand Foundation for the Blind and regularly saw the bond between the members and their Guide Dogs, so fantastic! And I know for some the bond was pretty close to that of a mother and child. Thanks for sharing :)

  2. Rachel R.
    May 11, 2013 | 6:27 pm

    I’m not a mom yet, but I’m sure I will make mistakes and learn from them along the way. It sounds like you’re a great mom – just remember, no one can be perfect all the time :) Happy mother’s day!
    Rachel R. recently posted..Back from Vacation – Sharks, eels, and stingrays, oh my!My Profile

  3. marissa lee
    May 12, 2013 | 12:19 am

    thank you for sharing…we all as a mother makes mistakes but we learn from them..your a great mom…happy mothers day.

  4. denise smith
    May 12, 2013 | 1:00 am

    thank you for sharing this. i know that as a mom i try to do the best i can everyday for my kids. i have a servere autistic daughter and a 14 year old daughter my youngest is 9 and nonverbal autistic so as a mom i learned sign launguage and how to use different devices in hopes that one day she will talk to us either through sign, a device or speak. our lives have been enriched because of our kids and having to talk to others that are dealing with similar situations like us but i love being a mom to my 2 beautiful girls

  5. Amy L. Norman
    Twitter: artzamy23
    May 12, 2013 | 8:03 am

    I wish that I had not given any attention to the doomsday nay-sayers who cautioned that babywearing would make my daughter not want to walk; that co-sleeping is bad; that I was too busy to exclusively pump breast milk for my daughter; and that I was a horrible mom for wanting 5 minutes of alone time before my head exploded.
    Happy Mother’s Day, Mama Bam!

  6. Becky Schollian
    May 12, 2013 | 1:53 pm

    Happy Mothers day to you too Mama Bam!!How awesome are you to be able to hold down your family and bring us these wonderful words of wisdom!!My children are of two cultures. They are adults now, but I wish I would have taught them their second language. My first G’son is 5 yrs old. We decided when he was born we decided to teach him his second language of Spanish. We live in San Diego California and boy let me tell you it has made a world of difference in his young life already.He helps other children in his class with their English.

  7. Betsy Barnes
    May 13, 2013 | 2:22 pm

    My son is 20 now. He’s a hard worker, lives on his own, doing well. It seems through his childhood, there has been so much violence in the world, since it seems to be getting worse, I wish I had taken a better approach in explaining these events. He seems to worry about his own safety and stresses over it :)

  8. Sylvia Ortiz
    May 15, 2013 | 7:56 pm

    I wish I had read more books to my kids when they were small – I love to read, but I have yet to see any of my kids pick up a book and not put it right back down.

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KiwiCanadian expat adventures with my husband and 2 kids from life in New Zealand to New York and back again. Adventures in inspired family living, travel, health & fitness.Read More »